By Suzanne Kempeneers
Today we played for the Cédric Hèle Institute, the Flemish Institute for Psychosocial Oncology. The theme of the day was "(Existential) Anxiety and Hope in Cancer" and was entertainingly explained by Dr. Simon Wein, a specialist in the field in Israel.
It is quite a challenge to turn such a theme into telling scenes that have the right ratio of laughter to seriousness. Today it was even more so for me because I knew someone in the audience who is close to my heart and whose husband himself is currently in such a patient position. So playing a scene about a bone marrow transplant or about a partner who doesn't want to say goodbye then has a double meaning. And, as she confirmed to me herself, listening to a lecture is still just further removed than seeing it played out there.
Theater touches
But it was a fine performance, with fine reactions, and I really felt that we had been able to contribute. And that did well. Meaningfulness was also a theme that was addressed and such a performance connects very much with that meaning.
We're a few hours in and I was just about to go to sleep because tomorrow we have to be in Brussels early for a training on diversity and improvisational theater. I check my mail one last time. And there a message I had been dreading for a while - or hoping it wouldn't come. A good friend and colleague's husband finally got clarity on his symptoms: a glioma in the brain ... quite an explanation ... surgery and radiation. And I read that they are assuming the most positive scenario.
A subjective perspective
That email is today's entire Chi event in a nutshell. Existential fear and hope in a few lines.
Hope is a subjective perspective of the future, I learned today; it has nothing to do with reality. After all, we can always hope for a miracle. But perhaps it is good to jump off that merry-go-round of life and live day by day; replace grand hopes with looking forward to; and reflect on the life we have lived.
And maybe we shouldn't just do that when we have cancer, I think now. Because actually that never hurts.
Today reality and fiction were very much intertwined for me. It affected me.
Theater touches.
Life touches.